Happiness was always the big question in our lives that we needed to solve. It was often the question that starts with what we needed to do in order to be happy. Actually, we already knew the answer. We just didn’t know where to start looking. We all walk different paths in life in our pursuit to find happiness. You may come to battle the fights that you started, or come to face the battle found deep within yourself.
It’s pretty much a different cause, course, and experience for everyone. Naturally, you may spend your whole life hoping, expecting, and living in eternal frustration while waiting for happiness to knock on your door—and the moment can never come. And then, looking back, you might wonder, “Was I really that unhappy, or did I succumb to the happiness craze?”
That is, how can you tell whether you are truly unhappy, when happiness means different things to different people, it’s impossible to measure directly when the feeling of happiness, is fleeting.
If you’re reading this blog, it just means that you don’t know where are the right places to find your happiness. Happiness In Quantum Leaps by Aura McClain is a great piece to start if you wish to find your happiness. It is a self-help guidebook of how we can find new ways, and make new paths to finding our happiness; such as relationship issues and failure vs. success, and ultimately, how to achieve proper happiness. This book will surely entice you to read more and help you find your happily ever after, whoever, or wherever it may be.
Here are a few simple ways for you to look, to be happy:
Build relationships
No man is an island, as the saying goes. Although we all want our privacy, we all want to be close to each other. Make an attempt to communicate with the ones you love (e.g., friends, family, or lover) on a daily basis. Ideally, set aside time at least once a week for an in-depth conversation in which each of you has a chance to talk and be heard.
Instead of talking about your issues, concentrate on your goals, dreams, and ambitions. Discuss what makes you “oomph’ and what brings you the most joy in life. At these times, listening is just as important as speaking. In order to have real intimacy, both parties must benefit emotionally from these conversations.
Having a relationship with someone is a two-way street, whether he/she maybe your lover, family, or friend. You can’t just talk about you, but rather you should also talk about them.
Build your self-esteem
Being confident in your own skin is very important. The same goes with confidence in one’s own ability; self-respect and freedom to make your own decisions. Why is this important? It’s because it’s one small problem that eventually becomes a big one. In fact, this is one of the many reasons why people are depressed, enough that it drove them to their deaths.
But, how do I gain self-esteem?
Stop looking through other people’s lenses, and starting looking through your own lenses. Nowadays, people are more focused on their outer shells rather than the inner qualities of what makes them who they are as a person. We spend our time thinking about how others may perceive us that we dress according to their liking, act according to their will, and even lick their shoes if we must. We don’t see ourselves when we always live up to the expectations of others, rather we see a completely different person living in someone else’s body.
Stop living someone else’s life, and start living your own life! Happiness is not found there. It is found when you can be yourself— making your own decision, making your own mistakes, and accomplishments that you hope to achieve all on your own. McClain believes mental health, such as building self-esteem is one of the most important aspects of any person’s life, and her book Happiness in Quantum Leaps really hits home.
Build security with love and belongingness
Since the quality of our personal relationships is connected to our mental health and well-being, the desire to belong is important. The closer we are to the ones we love, the happier we feel; and more contentment we have in our lives.
Most people view moments of intimacy and mutual pleasure with their loved ones as their most valuable life experiences. These valuable relationships are not only limited to family and personal friends but also larger groups and communities to which we belong. Forming bonds and a sense of belonging with coworkers, neighbors, and the various groups that make up our identity (e.g., such as sports, interests, religion, and community groups) all lead to our happiness. Developing a sense of belonging with other people around a common goal, or identity is a major contributor that gives personal meaning in life.
Such groups will help us get back up when we’re down and give us the strength to face whatever obstacles come our way. Therefore, it’s important to maintain and cultivate our relationships
Spend more time outdoors
Are you constantly switching between clients and phone calls at work, or clicking from spreadsheets to presentations? Even at home, you can find yourself balancing chores, babysitting, and maybe some household equipment you need fixing. Your brain can only handle so much distraction before it needs to recharge, and I know just the way for you to be fully recharged.
Why not spend your time outdoor? Spending your time outdoors helps reduce stress and anxiety, improve your mood, and boost feelings of happiness. When you feel stuffy or frustrated, just take a step outside and breathe for a moment. The outdoors will surely help you recharge from your laundry list of things to do! Out of sight, out of mind is what I’d like to call it.
Use your time wisely
Do you constantly feel that you’ve wasted so much time on one thing, and feel so unhappy because of it? Spending your time wisely may be the solution to leading a happy life.
What’s the problem with your time management? Well, it’s everything from going to work, sleeping, eating, and taking a break. You may think that overworking yourself is a good thing, when in fact it does more harm than good. And believe me, some people work themselves to the bone, straight for 5 days in a week without sleep, and still manage to get everything done. McClain stresses that time is very important, and we must know how to spend it wisely with the ones we care about; and ourselves as well.
Don’t spend your time slaving away for a company, learn to manage time properly including proper meals, good sleep, exercise, and vacation leave for you to rest.
However, the most efficient path to long-term happiness and satisfaction is to consider not just your own interests, but also the interests of others. When we turn our attention away from ourselves, we live lives with more meaning and contribution.
Nonetheless, the pursuit of happiness by so many people is no small matter. Let’s make certain we find it, both in the short and long term.
The Happy Hammock 