Love is Just a Word: Learning to Be Happy with Someone Else

Photo by Gustavo Fring

In Hilaire Louis Jean’s new book on marriage and relationships, you get to learn the seven secret ingredients of a successful marriage and being happy with someone else.

Love is complicated enough without adding marriage into the mix. Yet, it is something that people yearn for. It’s the basis for which most marriages are made. Who does not want to find someone to be with until the end? 

In Hilaire Louis Jean’s The Seven Principles of Successful Marriage, she spills the necessary secret ingredients of a successful marriage, and while I’m not married yet, nor will I ever be, her lessons are quite versatile and can be applied to most relationships in general. 

After all, isn’t love the common thread in all relationships? 

Love is Just a Word

I’ll say it again: love is complicated. It’s perhaps one of the most incomprehensible emotions out there. There are multiple shifting ideas and aspects of it. If love should be a place, it would be a labyrinth where the first step in would automatically get you lost. 

Of course, whatever gripe I may have about love, it cannot be denied that when two people fall into it and realize where they are, love can be one of the most beautiful experiences either of them can have–and if it’s done properly, love can suffuse your life so intensely that just about anything you do for and with someone can fill you with joy and happiness.

However, it is not without a price. If love is a substance, then love is the most potent of drugs. And when you’re hooked on any drug, the wrong move can make life extremely challenging.

Thus, when you are in love, you have to go beyond what the initial high gives you. Most people think that if you’re in love, everything just falls into place, and you already know deep in your heart of hearts what it is that you’re meant to do, what you’re meant to say, and what you’re meant to feel.

That’s not true, far from it.

Love is not just a word. It is not merely the name we give to our feelings. Love is an act, and to love properly, you have to act properly. To be in love does not mean to be passive. If you want your love to become a perennial blossom–which is to say, not something that passes by quickly–you have to learn how to be happy with someone else, to appreciate their presence, and to be afraid of their absence. You must go outside your own feelings of love and commit yourself to them both in feeling and action.

Transform love into a journey; make it into a yearning for adventure with the one you’re with.

Learning to Be Happy with Someone Else

If you want to be both in love and happy with someone else, the first step is understanding what you and your partner’s love is. Love can be different for everyone, and it is important to know what your perspective is and what your partner’s perspective is.

For some, love is expressed through physical touch and affection; for others, it is expressed through service or quality time spent together. By understanding your and your partner’s languages of love, you both can better understand how to show love to each other that is both meaningful and satisfactory.

This requires open and honest communication, which is essential in any healthy relationship. It is important to remember that everyone is different, so what works for one person may not work for another.

To be happy with someone else is to practice empathy and understanding. This means putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and trying to see things from their perspective. It’s easy to become frustrated or upset with your partner when they do something that you don’t agree with or understand.

Still, practicing empathy and understanding is important so you can better appreciate their point of view and work towards a resolution that benefits both of you.

Learning to love your partner requires commitment and dedication. Love cannot be taken for granted. This means making time for each other, being present and attentive, and actively working to strengthen your relationship. Being happy with someone else also means making compromises and sacrifices.